but i wasn’t driving

May 26, 2014

On Saturday, a nice gentleman was driving his SUV in front of my house when a spider dropped down toward his hands. Only one house separates his home from ours and he almost made it… and surely would have if not for that spider. Instead, his focus was on the arachnid and he ran straight into a brick column at the end of our drive toppling it over into the yard. His SUV looked rough — airbags flapping in the wind — but other than a ugly bruise on his arm, the spider traumatized neighbor and his grandson (the passenger in the back seat) were just fine. The driveway column… dead.

not gonna make it

The neighbor next door (to both of us) heard the crash and called the police before ringing the doorbell to let us know what had happened. An officer appeared a short time later, called a tow truck and was the next to ring the doorbell. He asked my name and phone number, and told me I’d need to call someone to repair the damage. Here’s where it gets odd…

Yesterday, (Sunday) I get a call from the police officer that went something like this…

Him: This is officer “BLAH BLAH” and I was at your house yesterday because of the accident involving property damage.
Me: Yes…
Him: Would you please spell your last name for me? I’m making out the report and couldn’t find your driving record with the spelling I had.
Me: I spell last name…
Him: There it is! You do know your CDL is expired?
Me: Yes.

A few quick pleasantries and we hang up. And then I start thinking… why exactly did a police officer need to look up my driving record when I was asleep on the couch when the accident happened? Are homeowners required to have a driver’s license? Why didn’t I ask him why?

I plan to call tomorrow to find out details — the most important one of all… what EXACTLY did my driving record have to do with ANYTHING?