I got a call today right after lunch. A soft spoken female told me she was with Company “X” — “X” being the name of our server for websites and email. In a hushed tone she said, “your check failed.” I was at a loss for words (which doesn’t happen very often) because my brain was so mixed up that it was stuck in neutral. Just like a good Twilight Zone episode, I was having a conversation with a service provider but it felt like it was taking place with a Secret Service Special Agent reference “Bohomohoblah Blah”, the double-secret critical spy plot. My initial thought was that I don’t even HAVE checks (I’m a debit girl). The conversation continued…
Me: What do you mean my check failed?
Her: Ummmm… (barely in a whisper) it failed. The check.
Me: What check?
Her: The one we did.
Me: The one you did?
Her: Yes.
Me: What check did you do?
Her: The automatic one.
Me: What automatic check did you do? And, what does it mean?
Her: I don’t know.
Me: THEN WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?
Her. Because that’s my job.
And that, kids, is exactly why everything costs so much these days and the government is shut down and there’s NO FLIPPING PANDA CAM! People are idiots and companies waste money on providing what they THINK is great “customer service.”
If I was going to find out anything of value about this hush-hush, double-secret crisis, it was evident I would need to bypass the breathy-voiced information provider…
Me: Who told you to call me?
Her: My boss.
Me: Who is your boss?
Her: The one who tells me what to do.
Me: I give up.
Her: Thank you, and have a nice day.
