you’ve been hacked and you’re basically a houseplant

Feb 19, 2019

In a matter of only a few minutes this morning, I’ve found out that I’ve been hacked AND I’m pretty much a houseplant.

Yesterday was my first day back on the treadmill after the shingles fiasco. I know my aging body needs exercise — I can’t sit here at my computer and work 24/7, you guys. This popped up on Facebook at the same time I was putting on shoes to start my treacherous trail to nowhere:

You are a houseplant

To complicate emotions even further, I was notified by a hacker that my email account was used on a porn site with spyware that activated my camera and recorded me while watching the porn (doing who knows what!). Unless I pay in bitcoins ($1000 USD) within 2 days these videos will be sent to all my contacts — friends, family, and colleagues. OH MY!

This person is not a hacker — or at least not a very good one — because the email account the blackmail threat was sent to is only used for sending newsletters; it’s certainly not been used to visit any porn sites; and the computer I use is a Mac Pro — without a camera or microphone.