posted by Shelley
My Grandmother is 97. I’ve talked about her here before, but if you missed it, here’s a brief summary. Nanny was active and self-sufficient until about the time she hit the 93 year-old mark. When I say active, I mean that we hid the lawnmower gas so she wouldn’t push-mow the ditch line. While the aging process was slow, it was almost like I woke up one morning and she was simply having a difficult living alone and functioning in a healthy manner. Ben was there every morning to fix her breakfast; I had meals delivered to her at lunch; and Mom and Carl checked on her almost daily as well. Still…Nanny would fall often, had trouble keeping up with her meds (even though they were all in little packages for her) and was no longer safe living alone.
I had a hard time when Mom insisted that she go into a nursing home. All the wonderful things that Nanny had done for each of us was to be rewarded by what? Not one of us could step-up to the plate and care for her? Under much protest, Nanny was placed in a nursing home in Seymour — it was SUPPOSED to be rehabilitation with the hope of her returning home, or home with one of us.
It wasn’t long until the swelling in her legs that we had battled forever was gone. While at home, some days she was confused, but not after about 3 weeks in the nursing home! She was bright-eyed, liked her roommate, enjoyed therapy and looked forward to the walks and exercises. Putting Nanny in the nursing home prolonged her life — and she had people to communicate with whenever she wanted…not just when one of us found time to drop in for a few moments. I was wrong. Full time nursing care was the best answer for all, especially Nanny. But I’m not finished yet…
Her nursing facility is undergoing renovations and Nanny was moved to a different wing temporarily. Pretty traumatic for an old chick when she is stuck in a new room with a new roommate and different nurses. It took less than 2 weeks for her to get pneumonia and land in the hospital (last night). Antibiotics and 100 tests later, they send her back to the home to the temporary room in the “bad” wing. I roll in there this morning about 9:30 am and she’s dozing. It wasn’t a deep sleep so I decided to wake her.
As soon as she saw me, there was an immediate look of desperation. She had not been taken to the restroom, her bed was wet and she was next to frantic. It broke my heart. The pill pushing nurse told me how “cute” my grandmother is, but admitted that she had yet to assess her condition — even though she had just returned from the hospital with pneumonia. A very nice aide changed her clothes and bed — but made sure I knew that Nanny wasn’t really on the list of those she was supposed to take care of. Once cleaned up, it went like this:
Employee: Have you been drinking water?
Nanny: I would if I had some.
Employee: You don’t have water? (Shakes the empty pitcher.)
Nanny: No. And could I have some kleenex?
Employee: Sure, I’ll get your water and kleenex and I’ll be right back.
Roommate to me: If she wants kleenex, you’d better go get them yourself. They never bring what they promise.
Me (as I look to the dresser beside the bed and see hair growing on a biscuit from Cracker Barrel): Isn’t this what I left on Monday?
I can’t get that look out of my head — the fear, the desperation. A few phone calls later, my Nanny is back in the “good” wing. She was excited to return. How can it be so different in one facility? And what about those left to the aides with black make-up smeared under their eyes and hair uncombed? What is to become of them? No more Sunday visits for me…I plan to show up at odd times on different days. Although Nanny is absolutely able to articulate what is going on, she isn’t one to complain. And even though she’s back on the “good” wing, I find that I’m less trusting now.
What about the elderly who have no family? Weren’t associated with a church? I have to tell you — I think about the congregations saving money to go to foreign countries and shake my head. Yah, it’s great to minister to those who may have otherwise never heard of our loving God — but wouldn’t it be just as wonderful if they would just put a little of that energy into taking care of those close to home that can’t fend for themselves?