We can all be influenced by our peers to adopt certain behaviors. The extent to which some will become involved in these behaviors just because ‘that’s what everyone else is doing’ is jaw-dropping. Two recent occurrences in the news sparked the thoughts for this post: the gang rape of a 15 year-old California girl after a homecoming dance, and the deaths in the Sweat Lodge during the “Spiritual Warrior” retreat in Sedona, Arizona. What makes it so hard to go against the grain and stand up to injustice?
CNN reports another arrest in the homecoming gang rape. But what about the dozen or so that witnessed this horrible act of violence and did nothing, or watched and yelled out demoralizing comments? So it was alcohol fueled. How stinking drunk do you have to be to watch another human being raped and beaten to the point that their condition is critical? How drunk to actually initiate or partake in these acts upon another? Who knows what the participants would’ve done without encouragement from others — but the onlookers? Certainly there was one of them that would’ve at least called 911 and stood up to injustice if not for peer pressure.
Adults are influenced by peer pressure too. Take the Sweat Lodge deaths as an example. Read Scott McKain’s viewpoint on the issue and watch the video he included of a survivor speaking out about the ordeal. Now I’m not posting this to talk about why these people paid to go to this ‘spiritual retreat’ in the first place, but rather what happened once something went wrong. The survivor in the video clip talks about “not being able to leave the sweat box because they were told not to if the door was closed’ — and even though she’s a professional (orthodontist) with extensive medical training and her FRIEND was dying right outside …she didn’t leave the sweat box. People were passed out with their eyes rolled back in their heads, mucus coming from their noses and mouths, others not breathing, most vomiting and NO ONE inside would open the door and help because they were told not to?
The influencing factors are totally different in these two instances, but the outcome the same. I don’t get it. There is not one person, not one group, not one ANYTHING that could’ve kept me in that sweat box without physically overpowering me if that were my friend outside. It was constructed of tarps for crying out loud! I would’ve torn the freaking thing APART getting out. Wouldn’t you? And there is not one person, not one group, not one ANYTHING that could keep me from doing my very best to stop an act of violence against another — even if my friends were the perpetuators.
I’ve been influenced by peers in the past and I’m sure I will be in the future. But I draw the line. Have you noticed that for most it’s easier to be influenced by negative peer pressure than by positive? And what was that old saying my Mother used to push down my throat? Something about…birds of a feather… If you’re going to be influenced by your peers — and we all are — then you better make sure you’re hand-picking them.