the worst type of group text messages

Dec 10, 2019

There is no way to unsubscribe from group text messages. None. You can opt out on Facebook group messages — but not group texts to your phone.

The very worst type of group text messages is when it’s family doing the texting.

I know this because I’m currently in the middle of group text Hell. Let me set the stage…

  • I have a family member that is ill and that’s who the text messages are primarily about
  • I have a family member that is kind and compassionate — but also “takes charge” when anyone in the family is sick — and that’s who started (and continues) the texts
  • I have many family members who are very religious and when asked to pray, they respond with a prayer typed into the group text
  • Every single one of my family members gets up at the ass crack of dawn

Don’t misunderstand… I want my relative to get better! But I do NOT want to be awoken with my arm vibrating (Apple watch) and my phone dinging just to hear about my cousin having a bowel movement. To be clear — if I get sick and anyone talks in group text about my rectum, they better hope I don’t make it.

Yes, I’m grumpy. I have a new evil puppy and I’ve been woken up every single morning for the last 5 days by group text notifications primarily about poop.

Oh, and did I mention my outside Christmas lights lasted about 30 minutes before going out for no apparent reason?

Christmas lights that lasted 30 minutes.