what they don’t tell you before you get a dog

Feb 23, 2024

Oh! The joys of hound dog parenthood! Not quite 5:00 AM and I’m at my computer… wide awake. Why so early? Because Dharma was retching about 4′ from my head at 4:45 AM this morning.

Little puppies make such cute sounds.

Big, adult dog sounds are rarely cute. Especially puke sounds. Puke sounds are horrible and will wake adult humans in a nanosecond. The puppy parent responsible for cleaning up messes will pop awake immediately upon hearing such sounds in an attempt to get said animal to an easy to clean surface before they expel the nasty — preferably that would be outside.

This is NOT the dog that puked before 5:00 AM. This is the flexible, goofy one.

Merida watching the door from the couch

Said no one ever…

Get a puppy so it will grow to be an adult dog with adult dog needs, bad habits, and will sometimes require care when you want to sleep.

Now you know: In 1989 a man “with bulging pants” was stopped by Baltimore police for “walking oddly”. The perp was found to have 21 live homing pigeons stuffed in his trousers.