treadmills need an “i’m old” setting

Dec 30, 2025

I probably shouldn’t write about this without first contacting a patent attorney, but here I am yapping anyway. I figure I could make a bajillion dollars with my innovative idea.

It’s so frigid in my slice of the world right now there’s no way I could take a stroll outside. I even feel sorry for the birds eating in the bitter wind.

redbird on bird feeder

An “I’M OLD” treadmill setting would make me rich.

Treadmills have walk, jog, and run automatic settings. The following numbers do no take into account your height or if you feet leave the belt, but speeds are commonly categorized as:

  • 2.0–2.9 mph → easy to moderate walking
  • 3.0–3.5 mphbrisk walking (power walk territory)
  • 4.0–5.0 mph → light jogging
  • 5.5+ mph → running

I’m a senior-aged female with long, but slow, legs.

My daily walks start at 2.8mph and finish at 3.2mph. At my age, I am picking them up and putting them down, you guys.

I gained over 100 pounds while pregnant with my son (130 pounds actually… but who is counting?). Afterward, needless to say, I didn’t lose all that weight even though he was over 11 pounds at birth. After a few months of diet alone, I started going to the school’s track to walk every day in an effort to drop the almost 80 pounds I picked up eating snickers candy bars and big macs.

My legs were the same length as they are now and I weighed around 90 pounds more than I do today. At less than 25 years-old, my fat ass would walk almost 4 miles in one hour and at the time, I couldn’t understand why my Mom — when she went along — couldn’t keep up. Apologies Mom… I certainly understand now. There is NO WAY I would still be walking at 4mph… no freaking way. My legs do not have that capability any longer.

Experts say speeds above 3.0mph is considered very fit for my age group, and 2.5-3.0 mph is a solid, healthy walking pace.

Why not have an “I’m old” treadmill toggle with the following settings?

  • 2.0–2.5 mph → comfortable, everyday walking
  • 2.5–3.0 mphbrisk walking (most common “exercise pace”)
  • 3.0–3.3 mph → fast walk / power walk (above average for this age)

These settings would boost motivation and encourage seniors to crank out some time getting healthy. I would buy one!

In the meantime, I’ll just plug along with what I’ve got and spend my downtime birdwatching. 🙂

woodpecker on bird feeder


Now you know: In 1960, AT&T represented 13% of the entire US stock market, roughly double the weight of Nvidia today.